February 17, 2014
My dads boss was gracious enough to allow me to go and collect his things from his desk at work. She took me the day he passed, which was perfect for me because it was Sunday and I would not have to worry about running into anyone. You see, my dad and I worked for the same company at one time and we knew a lot of the same people. This helped make an awkward moment so much easier. It was hard enough to clean off his desk and if I had seen someone we both had known, it would have been even harder. It was nice remembering certain events as I packed up his things. It was weird knowing that I would not be able to have a conversation with him again.
My mom had been through so much with her health and I knew this, but I was not expecting to lose her so soon. I know that you are never ready to lose a parent and when it happens, it is a terrible feeling. I believe that I am struggling more with the loss of my mom because I was her caretaker for two years and mothers and daughters have close relationships. When you take care of someone in your family, it can be stressful and very rewarding. I would have to say that I experienced both of these. I can tell you honestly though, I would do it again in a heart beat. I do not regret the time I had with my mom, but I only wish that we could have had more. It still causes my heart to ache knowing that she is not here with me any more. I miss her.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
February 17, 2014
When I lost my dad in 2001, it was hard, but it was easier to deal with. You see, my dad had lung cancer and it had spread to his rib cage as well. He did everything humanly possible to beat this cancer, always had a positive attitude, never blamed God, showed his amazing faith, and we had so many Christians all over the world praying for his healing. God was ready for my dad to be with Him in heaven and so he left this earth on August 19th, 2001. (This just happened to be the day after Nancy's birthday, my sister, the 18th). I was mad at God for taking my dad from me. You see, I knew God could have made him well and I did not understand why he allowed him to die. Oh, I still loved God with all my heart, but I was angry at Him. Watching someone you love slowly die from cancer is just awful. I had asked God to please allow me to be with my dad when it was his time to go and God granted my wish. It was a beautiful, sunny day when he left this earth and I remember asking myself, "I wonder what it is like in heaven today?"
Now, it is hard for me to believe that my mom has been gone for 6 months already. My mom celebrated her 78th birthday on August 2, 2013. Her home health nurse and physical therapy person each brought her a card, flowers, and a cake to help celebrate her special day. These two fine ladies meant a lot to my mom and myself and they had touched our hearts. It was a quiet day, but we both enjoyed it. I went to the Cheesecake Factory and picked up our dinner for that evening. I remember how we both said it had been a nice day. I would have never imagined that a week later to the date, my mom would be gone. My heart aches for her and sometimes it just seems too surreal to be true.
When I lost my dad in 2001, it was hard, but it was easier to deal with. You see, my dad had lung cancer and it had spread to his rib cage as well. He did everything humanly possible to beat this cancer, always had a positive attitude, never blamed God, showed his amazing faith, and we had so many Christians all over the world praying for his healing. God was ready for my dad to be with Him in heaven and so he left this earth on August 19th, 2001. (This just happened to be the day after Nancy's birthday, my sister, the 18th). I was mad at God for taking my dad from me. You see, I knew God could have made him well and I did not understand why he allowed him to die. Oh, I still loved God with all my heart, but I was angry at Him. Watching someone you love slowly die from cancer is just awful. I had asked God to please allow me to be with my dad when it was his time to go and God granted my wish. It was a beautiful, sunny day when he left this earth and I remember asking myself, "I wonder what it is like in heaven today?"
Now, it is hard for me to believe that my mom has been gone for 6 months already. My mom celebrated her 78th birthday on August 2, 2013. Her home health nurse and physical therapy person each brought her a card, flowers, and a cake to help celebrate her special day. These two fine ladies meant a lot to my mom and myself and they had touched our hearts. It was a quiet day, but we both enjoyed it. I went to the Cheesecake Factory and picked up our dinner for that evening. I remember how we both said it had been a nice day. I would have never imagined that a week later to the date, my mom would be gone. My heart aches for her and sometimes it just seems too surreal to be true.
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