February 17, 2014

     My dads boss was gracious enough to allow me to go and collect his things from his desk at work.  She took me the day he passed, which was perfect for me because it was Sunday and I would not have to worry about running into anyone.  You see, my dad and I worked for the same company at one time and we knew a lot of the same people.  This helped make an awkward moment so much easier.  It was hard enough to clean off his desk and if I had seen someone we both had known, it would have been even harder.  It was nice remembering certain events as I packed up his things.  It was weird knowing that I would not be able to have a conversation with him again.

     My mom had been through so much with her health and I knew this, but I was not expecting to lose her so soon.  I know that you are never ready to lose a parent and when it happens, it is a terrible feeling.  I believe that I am struggling more with the loss of my mom because I was her caretaker for two years and mothers and daughters have close relationships.  When you take care of someone in your family, it can be stressful and very rewarding.  I would have to say that I experienced both of these.  I can tell you honestly though, I would do it again in a heart beat.  I do not regret the time I had with my mom, but I only wish that we could have had more.  It still causes my heart to ache knowing that she is not here with me any more.  I miss her.